the measure of a man

It finally hit me today - music was the meaning.
When Michael Jackson died I was struck by how sudden it seemed, by the tone in my mother's voice and by the sheer volume and quality of his work.
And earlier today as I debriefed with one of my sisters on what MJ meant to us - our family, our people I tried to wrap my head around the tsunami of grief that must be the Jackson Family's. Your siblings are the only ones who can truly relate to how you grew up, share ancient jokes and misdeeds. And the Jackson 5's (and the rest of the fam) are writ large for all of us to share as if they were our own family hijinx.
And now as I watch the memorial service for this legendary artist, I realize that we love him because he was ours - he gave us music, love and memories. Is there another figure for whom millions can sing and dance to the same songs and feel the same joy? We loved him because he reminded us that music is the melody of life. Does the man have a bad song or a truly wack video?!
We love him because his excellence dared us to fly higher, even if it was just in our dreams.

As I watch this wonderful celebration of a tragic and beautiful life I am reminded of how his songs became the soundtrack of my life, our lives in so many ways...
I think back to how the Jackson 5 must have helped my mom learn how to be an American, when she was just another new Brooklyn transplant
To my Trini auntie who would yell at my cousins to hush up if Michael was performing on tv (sorry for stealing that MJ doll!)
The holiday season doesn't really get poppin in my house until my sisters and I are singing along to Jackson 5 caroles on a Motown Christmas
To the thrill of a 15 year old girl's lifetime, performing with my choir at Michael Jackson's 30th Anniversary concert. Yes our costumes were busted, but we got to meet MJ!

Music was the measure of this man, and what an amazing legacy that is.

Don't stop till you get enough!

shoutout board

I miss my kids.

This is the opposite of how I thought I would feel on the last day of school last September. I would look at the calendar and beg the weeks, days, class periods, and minutes to move a little quicker. And now that my time in front of the classroom is done I miss my students.

Today as I gave all the kids of room 300 shout outs I found myself coaking back tears as I told them how much I admired, respected, enjoyed having them in my classroom. The kids truly drove me insane over the course of this school year - I lost a lot of sleep grinding it out as a public school teacher. Between TFA committments, grading, lesson planning, PowerPoint presentation making, and getting the ill REM sleep on the train I couldn't wait for summer to get here fast enough. But my students made it all worth while. They will never know how much they've meant to me and corny as it is, they have changed me and challenged me in ways I didn't know possible.

After the shoutouts the kids gave me some props as well and it was if all the yelling, tantrums, no homework and tardiness was erased as they thanked me for tying my best and showing that I cared. Even as I type this I'm getting teary eyed, because those kids, my kids pushed me to give them everything that I had to to them, I am eternally grateful.

natural living

When I said good bye to the creamy crack and started to grow out my perm 2 years ago it really wasn't a political statement. I just wanted more options in styling and healthier hair. But now that the chemically treated tresses are a thing of the past I want to embrace the whole natural lifestyle.
Minus the tofu of course. As a good Trini girl, I need to make sure I save room for some good curry and roti with sorrel. Although divorcing Kennedy Fried was hard, I want to eat food that came from the death and not from some scientific lab.
So this summer I'll be planting a vegetable garden in my backyard. Rolling up my sleeves and digging deep.
Hopefully the strawberries, tomatoes, and cucumbers I plant will be as tasty as the ones my grandmother and I planted back in the day. If not, Fairway it is!

1 year hence

Last weekend my friend and I drove back up to Amherst to watch the class of 2009 earn their canes, commence and join the rest of us in this horrible economy. In fact, even the "Amherst bubble" was cracked by the financial meltdown - no dessert at the post-graduation luncheon, no titanium Amherst water bottles. damn...
As I cheered my friends on, enjoyed President Marx's long (yet inspired) speech and chatted with other alumni I kept on going back to my own graduation. Sitting in that hot garbage bag of a black gown I remember reminding myself to savor the moment to fully enjoy one of the best days of my life thus far. So much has changed since that hot day last May.
When President Marx gave me my degree and shook my hand, he asked, "Are you ready?" And I said, "I hope so!" I had no clue a year later I would be coming out of my first year teaching getting ready to take another academic plunge. I had just made it out of that academic/social pressure cooker and was so ready to get out.
I called a good friend while up at the alma mater and was telling her just how beautiful the town is and how I couldn't believe I never noticed it before, and she said, "Thats because we were too busy hating it." True, and now a year later, I realize that there will never be another time that my best friends will be literary a 2 minute walk away.
My friends are in the Netherlands, China, Chicago, Boston, LA and (thank God) in Brooklyn. We made it - a year, an Ikea funished apartment, a job, and infinite transitions and changes later I'm still here.
I hope those newest Amherst alums are ready. Believe it or not, it only gets better. Even in the wackest of economies.

if Michelle can do it...

I've been working out like a gladiator for about 2 months now; I wake up on most days at 6:15 to go for a quick run around the hood then when I get home from work my trainer kicks my ass for about 45 minutes.
Here was the weekly work out progression -
I HATTTEEEE THISSSS. Lawd why?!?!
Pick 'em up, put 'em down. You can do it! (Even though it hurts)
Ain't nothing to it, but to do it. What is pain?
Push it to the limit!

Now when I go for runs I actually enjoy it. Working out isn't what I'd call fun times just yet but I feel better both physically and mentally. Why did I decided to get active, put down the chicken wing and dust off my sneakers? Just take a look at our First Lady! I like to call her guns, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. I'm not on her level just yet, but your sister is getting there.

If Mrs. Obama; First Lady of the United States, mother of two, wife, lawyer, community activist, sister, daughter, friend, volunteer, and the list goes on can wake up at 4 am every day to exercise then I can find an hour each day to tune up and take care of the body God gave me. Its the only true vehicle we have, and it needs to be taken care of with due diligence. It isn't about vainity or purely about looks, its about women understanding that it is good and necessary to take stock of one's health and do everything possible to perserve and maintain.

So if Michelle can do it, so can you. Now to find my own Obama.

hey mona lisa

I first learned about this Faith Ringold story quilt, "Dancing at the Lourve" from the fabulous Mr. Biles' art class back during my halcyon yet hood days at A. Philip Randolph H.S. (Mr. Biles, if you're reading this, please know that you've had such an indelible impact on my life - from worldview, art apreciation, musical tastes, who else but you would play Take 6 and After 7 in class? But most importantly had us understand that blackness did not have to equal a lack of exposure to the wider world).
In class we talked about the word "gauche" and how the girls dancing around the painting could be seen as having behavior or home training. But we decided that they were just excited to be at the world's most famous art museum. And now that I've made that sojourn I couldn't agree more...
I'm just a little girl from Bed-Stuy. But by luck and a whole heap o' blessings and good credit I've been able to see a lot of the beauty of this world - man made and God ordained. There is much more to see do of course, I just want to stay on the journey and remember to order more pages for my passport.
I just want my fellow kids from hoods across NYC and the country to realize that this world is for them too. The block is hot and too small to contain them.

in motion

My homegirl and I just got home from our slammin' trip to London and Paris.
London was even better the second time around and Paris lives up to the hype. Even my plane rides were super smooth, mad love to British Airways for the excellent service and the lowkey bomb food.
Observations on London and Paris:
London is truly NYC's first cousin; the Indian food there pops like no other, SOAS is the NYU of England, going to TopShop is a contact sport, the OysterCard is better than the Metrocard (MTA step your game up!)
The Parisian African Diaspora is real deal; that city is slick diverse, the Metro makes our subway system seem stuck in the 20th century (missing a train in Paris is no big deal. There will be another in 3 mins at the most), the Eiffel Tower is truly a thing to behold, the Parisians were so nice to this American girl whose language skills are limited to bonjour.
Post-vacation ennui has hit harder than the serious jet lag. But its always nice to come back home, back to the hood where I belong.

the comeback

After a 2 year absence my homegirl and I will be headed over to London for Spring breaky Break. One of my heros, Nelson George produced a dope travelogue his time there in Feb. I'll definitely be doing my thing there in a few days and revisiting some of my old stomping grounds.
London calling indeed

this woman's work

So I've noticed that my posts have been a little sparse as of late, juggling school/work/life etc... is a process and I've gotten caught up in the game and this beloved little blog got lost in the shuffle.
So as I roll up my sleeves to do my gschool work (ugh), get my lesson plans together, practice my back bridges (your sista is getting healthy on that dr. ian smith tip) show some love to the other sites/blogs on my page.
now back to work.

make some noise!!!!!

superbomb, mad tight, more than fly
check for the noisettes
(so maybe santigold ain't the only sista holding it down on the punk tip)

shoop shoop

I'm not sure what it means, if anything at all, that "Waiting to Exhale" is lowkey one of my favorite movies. Each time it comes on Bravo I watch and call up a homegirl to squeal into the phone how much I'm feeling it.
I live vicariously through the ladies for a few hours, and although their experiences don't really mirror my own, I do know what it means to have true sister friends. This movie allows me to see the power of my friendships writ large and for that, I can exhale.

knock 'em out the box

check out vol 2.
"I want the license to be bad and come back, and learn."

Today Was A Good Day

SNOW DAY!!!!!
Glory be hallelujah.
Its the first day in 5 years that the NYC public school system has closed school due to inclement weather. I think I echo the sentiments of kids and teachers across the tri-State area when I say YEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

talking bout some good hair

Yesterday I randomly run into a Starbucks in Soho and I do something a native NYC gal never does. Introduce myself to a celebrity.
"Excuse me, but are you Nelson George?" (if you don't know, google a brother, he's dope)

He is, and we have a little conversation then he mentions that I look familiar. Turns out, I'm in a new documentary he helped produce "Good Hair". Back in '07 Chris Rock came into my hair braiding spot and filmed me while I was getting my hair done. I looked a mess, too bad they couldn't get footage of me when I was done!
This joint needs to hurry up and get opened up to major release. And when it does, please don't hold me accountable for the state of my hair, I was transitioning from the creamy crack.

straight la

just got back from vacation in LA and while I was there after dinner at Roscoe's this throw back came on the radio. The lyrics are too real and almost of a bygone era. Yes its indeed problematic - a study in the often nihilistic, misogynistic, violent celebration of swagger seen all too often in the music I love. Yet the artists don't pull the lyrics out from random. The city is sunny, but its street life is all too real for too many. Easy recorded the realness surrounding him.

we've got a lot of work to do, if only to make sure that in another 20 years we don't hear lyrics like these anymore.

whose kids? our kids.

By now you've heard about the stimulus bill - what's in and what's out. Education always gets the short shift, because according to a few short sighted politicians education spending does not create jobs nor immediately boost the economy. Please relay that message to the millions of teachers nation wide, your favorite sis and my older sister included.

I find myself in a frenzy over what next fall will bring - will I be employed? Will I be able to afford my apartment? Will I have to get a little job at a coffee shop or bookstore to tide me over (a fine way to use my degree indeed). But I'm young and single and thankfully my momdukes won't let me go out like that. What of the educators who depend on their salaries to support families and other loved ones? Are we really willing to see 3 million jobs go up in smoke?

There is no national security or future without a solid education made accessible for all children. I for one am damned tired of education being forgotten and seeing our schools run on less and less. If Bloomberg's plan to layoff 15,000 teachers goes through if the city faces budget shortfalls, class sizes will soar to upwards of 50. And thats just the start. Kids don't get another shot.

So if you're in the NYC area come through to the Fair Budget Rally, Thursday March 5th, 4pm at City Hall.
Call and email your US Senators, or write your representative. Volume gets heard! Remember that the government works for us not the other way around. Refuse to sit idly by, we need each other.

FDR didn't go it alone and Obama cannot produce miracles. But we can.

my born day

I've been at this for 23 years now.
and its only getting better...

roots rock

Ever since my homegirl Gudrun sent me the link to download Esau Mwamwaya's mixtape with Radioclit, I've been steady bumping it everywhere I go.

"Kamphopo " is the answer you've been looking for.

the center of the universe

Brooklyn = the illest borough, black history, American heritage, hip hop, cool beats, gbks, bamboo hoops, timbs, NorthFace,uptowns, Park Slope moms, herbal deadheads (of all races), street hustlers selling all things Obama, Caribbean tanties, abuelitas, bodegas, the Chinese food joint, laundromats, the train station, double dutch, sitting with sisters on the stoop.

Simply put Brooklyn is the heart of the heart and everywhere I want to be.
The recession can't stop me from being a globe trotter, I have NYC.

get tickets to this.

at the end of the showing at the ifc, the director and former banana republic employee barry jenkins asked the audience to spread the word about the film if we liked it. and if we didn't to just keep quiet. well, i loved it. so hurry up and see this, because tyler perry isn't the only black man who makes movies.
medicine for melancholy = mad good

dollar store dime

We have to give President Obama a little while to take care of our imploding economy. Although he gives great speeches, is telegenic and mad charismatic old dude can't do everything alone. He isn't Dumbledore and the U.S isn't Hogwarts.

I'm doing my part to ignite the economy - I'm still shopping, but I'm paring down the purchases. I've gone from a weekly grocery bill of about $65 to about $50 by buying off brand. Foodtown brand is just as good, peep the ingredients list and it'll be exactly the same as Kraft, Tropicana, General Mills. Most of my cereal now comes out of a bag, but Honey Nut Scooters tastes just like Cheerios.

I almost forgot how amazing the local 99 cent store is; and Bed-Stuy has myriad to choose from. Just walk down Nostrand or Fulton Avenues and you have many different discount stores to choose from, some with questionable food items, others with stuff that's clearly hot off the truck.

All I know is that your sis will be stolling down with the granny shopping cart in and out of the dollar stores looking for some fresh deals. Keep cutting those coupons ya'll.

A Time Such as This

Let it sink it. It's all really real.
Godspeed Mr.President. And now, the real work begins.

Optimisitc

Does any other song capture this moment better than Optimistic by Sounds of Blackness?
No, not really.
at a close second is, "Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now"

on the eve of history

I just got back from D.C and although I won't be in the District the day Barack Obama puts his hand on the Lincoln Bible and takes his oath of office next to Michelle in front of the nation and the world.
On this MLK Day, lets revisit my favorite Obama speech, one which calls fathers not to abscond their duties and hold down their homes. Lets hold down the homefront, with families working together for our national good while he makes it happen in our government. He can't do it alone, we have do our job as well.

first world problems

As I packed up to leave work on Friday, I noticed my ipod was missing. Like most people, I cannot be expected to get through the day in a productive, healthy and happy manner without my mp3 player. So, after frantically tearing up the classroom I gave up the ghost and mourned the loss of my beloved, sleek, black, ipod (May 2008-January 2009).
The first joint I bought was during my freshman year and it lasted for my entire undergrad days. The warranty saw me through 4 ipods. I never missed a beat and I never had to listen to the sounds of the street, wack men spitting game, or subway station arguments. Instead, I was ensconced in the sounds of my own choosing. And it was good.

So, the loss of my ipod was devastating - materially, I was out of a $300+ investment. Emotionally, though I felt really betrayed that one of the kids at my school might have stolen my ipod. I realized my ipod was lost at about 3:30. At about 4:00, I was trying to figure out the fastest way to the Apple store downtown.

Even in the midst of a recession that's more like a throwback to 1933, I was able to immediately purchase another music player. Being on my Suze Orman steez has paid off, since I usually have a little extra left over for emergencies. However, my "emergencies" aren't like the ones that drove my grandparents to leave their homes in the beautiful Caribbean, like grinding poverty, few educational opportunities, and poverty. Some of my most recent "emergencies" have been: an unplayable Netflix dvd, my stolen ipod, running out of milk, forgetting free movie passes at home.

Did my ancestors hope that there would be a day, when their great-great-great granddaughter wouldn't be faced with problems like hunger decent housing and health care but with a tricky dvd player and a long commute? Probably not. But I am thankful that my problems are little more than marginal annoyances, disappointments and inconveniences when put into perspective. While we privileged children of the first world do have many issues that we deal with on the daily, I'd much rather stick with them rather than swapping them for those faced by our brothers and sisters in the developing world (or even of those folks in the South Bronx).

At least I was able to get a new ipod, even if it was a nano. These are tough economic times after all.

guilty pleasures

"My Dougie" by Lil Will may not be the most positive joint out there, a definitive guilty pleasure meant to be snapped to in the comfort of your apt with friends.

too Amherst

"Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" by Vampire Weekend sums up Amherst College in 3 mins and 46 seconds.
The cultural appropriation, preppiness, New England vibes, sunny exterior, percociousness and lowkey (if slightly apologetic) love takes me back to my undergrad days.

Straight out the DMV

your girl will be making it down to DC for the Inauguration in a few weeks. So in prepation lets step to the go-go inspired beats of Wale. Just warm-up till the party on the White House lawn

Resolved

Back for the New Year!
I've been lurking low for the past few weeks - teaching, grad school, trying to get a handle on life. And this poor lil blog got caught up in the shuffle. Allow me to atone and start the new year right. And in that spirit, lets get these new years resolutions together...

Lets be real though, who ever really follows through with those? I mean we all want to join a gym/exercise more, stress less, meditate more, etc... But by the time February rolls around, all those well intentioned resolutions fall by the wayside. Resolutions should be things that are resonable, doable and will put a kool-aide smile on your face.

Here are mine:
book MAD trips, and get more stamps in my passport. Possible contenders include - Puerto Rico, Trinidad, Amsterdam, Martinique.
Get another tattoo (those joints are crazy addictive)
do more leisure reading
sleep
cook for myself more
write more


all doable and guaranteed to make your favorite sis happy.