expatriate me?

Pardon the lack of regular postings peoples ( aka the 7 loyal readers), but senior year has delivered a series of major beat downs to me: thesis, GREing, graduate school applications, fretting over finding a job, obsessing over what I'm going to do after Amherst, stressing about grades. Why did Rory Gilmore make college seem so easy? I've been fooled by so many TV shows either about college or with protagonists in college, I swear the folk on "A Different World" spent more time in the Pitt with Mr.Gaines than in class or at work.

Anyway, in the midst of my struggle to try to end my Amherst career with something to show for it, I've experienced a great deal of ennui and dissatisfaction with the future of black people in this country. As I think about post-grad plans and my future in the work place or in academia I've realized that I have about 40 years of having a privileged white man's foot on my neck (figuratively of course). There is the glass ceiling, along with the defeatism that is so rampant among my generation. We are not only post-Civil Rights but also post-crack, so we've experienced dreams deferred first hand, and because of this so many of us are too busy dancing along to Gucci Mane records than to actually pick up a damn paper and learn about the people running for President. Couldn't we at least learn to do both at the same time? We cannot afford to just chill and buy fresh kicks while our parents houses are being foreclosed because of the sub-prime mortages fiasco. And while NBC Nightly News tells us about how they perceive the state of black women, we are in no position to argue points of contention because we believe the hype. Even though Public Enemy told us not to.

So I'm trying to find a way up out of this sinking ship, I will not be anyone's second class citizen for the rest of my days. It will take a social revolution of epic proportions that is global in scope to remedy the myriad problems that I can tick off faced by blacks as a whole, black women in particular and the underclass in general. And until that day comes, you can catch me up in sweet sweet T&T (that's Trinidad and Tobago to you). Richard Wright and W.E.B did it, and I want to be young enough to enjoy life outside of this nation of broken promises.

But on the real, I'm not going to move away permanently, I just need to get my mind right, live in another country for about 6 months out of the year to be rejuvenated. How else will I be able to become the female Tavis Smiley?